To the bus attendant,
I am sorry for the mess I left you to clean on my behalf. It was midnight and I am sure you had already dealt with enough shit that day.
I am not a baby, nor a two year old. I am a grown man, I think. Just hear me out:
I had too much to drink that night at the bar. The bigger culprit, however, were those damn chili cheese fries I split with my friend.
Before I departed the bus, I looked you in the eye. “I am sorry, but I had no choice,” I said as I ran to my house.