I shat my pants

To the bus attendant, 

I am sorry for the mess I left you to clean on my behalf. It was midnight and I am sure you had already dealt with enough shit that day. 

I am not a baby, nor a two year old. I am a grown man, I think. Just hear me out:

I had too much to drink that night at the bar. The bigger culprit, however, were those damn chili cheese fries I split with my friend. 


A critical blow was given to my bowels, leading to a janitorial duty for you. 

Before I departed the bus, I looked you in the eye. “I am sorry, but I had no choice,” I said as I ran to my house.

Sorry. 

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