Russia is Hacking American Citizens

I couple of months ago, I met a Russia girl at an international students event at my university. This event included cuisine from different countries. I never tasted Russian food so I thought I’ll give it a shot. I approach the booth and am greeted by a gorgeous lady. She handed me a plate of food that smelled weird but I accepted without much resistance.


I asked her for a cup for water. “Are you sure this is not Vodka?” I said this not knowing whether or not that would be considered a racist joke. Her smirk made me believe that it wasn’t.

I am not a stickler when it comes to dating. I am pretty openminded and have dated women of different ethicity. It does help that my university is one of the most diverse campuses in the nation, making it easy to meet foreign women.

Initially, her proficiency with technology weirded me out. She was a religious studies major but judging but her interests in computers, you would think she was into IT.

She started asking me strange questions. “Do you use the same passwords for all of your account? Do you have any cyber security protection? Can I borrow it for the night?”

A fish monger could have smelled the situtation that was arising.

Commence winter break. She went back to Russia and has been out of communication for the past few days. During this time, I receive an email from my bank.


I go online to check my bank statement.


I immediately go to a Wells Fargo branch to sort this out. I print out my statement to bring with me as evidence.

“The past 50 transcations have come from Russia.”

Putin is dangerous. He is sending Russian spies from Kremlin to bankrupt American citizen. I say we have a immediate ban on all Russians entering the United States.

#BanRussians

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